Everything should start with why.
Why is it dark? Why is that a goat? Why should I go to bed? Why has granny got grey hair? Why, why, why?
Many toddlers can fill their day with the many why questions they ask. The why-phase is well known by plenty of parents and appears to be an important step in the development of a child. By asking why questions, toddlers enhance their learning process and try to get more understanding of the world.
Starting with why adds value in both personal and business sense. It brings confidence and motivates you to accelerate.
In life, first, focus on why and delay your how and what. The how and what will evolve naturally. If you don’t know why you do it, how can you know what you’re doing?
Why am I doing this?
Well, 12 months ago – just after my 23rd Birthday I made the choice to give up alcohol. The story I’ve been telling people for the last year to many of my friends, family and people I’ve met throughout the last 12 months was that this decision was down to a lifestyle so I could focus on the business (Social Chain). As well as I no longer saw the “need” to drink. However, this isn’t the truth. Many people, especially young men find it very hard to speak openly about the issue they face in life, society has lead men to develop a “stiff upper lip” and an expected reliance. The truth is, I had to stop drinking as I was self-medicating anxiety with drink/substances – and it got to the point where it had become dangerous to others around me and more importantly myself.
I would live to Friday, then I’d begin drinking at work, usually red wine, and this wouldn’t stop until I dragged my self out of bed on Monday morning – I’d work the week and then repeat the same process over and over again. At first this was done with friends on nights out, like a usual 22-year-old at the time, however, this slowly developed into isolated session at home alone.
At first, this was with friends on nights out, like a usual 22-year-old at the time, hiding the true reasons for myself downing drinks and taking shots with “celebration or big nights” however, when I’d wake up in the morning I’d constantly question why I am acted like I did. This lifestyle slowly developed into isolated drinking session at home alone.
It was the way I escaped my emotions
This time last year, I was at rock bottom mentally not knowing what to do with myself, I didn’t know what was wrong with me, what the voices in my head were and why I was acting like I was. I was living miserably.
Thanks to those around me helping me and essentially having an inventing, I took a few drastic steps to understand the problem
- See a therapist
- Gave Up Alcohol
- Took up running
Seeing a CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapist) once a week soon helped me understand my problems – I was diagnosed with Anxiety.
He suggested a number of things, outside the usual CBT method to help me manage my issues – the main one was to Stop Drinking.
Alongside this, I took up running again for myself, to make myself better.
Thanks to the support of the people around I managed to understand what was happening in my life, this for me highlighted the importance of opening up and talking to people about how you feel.
I’ve spent the last 12 months helping myself, I now feel it’s time for me to help other people.
This blog isn’t for me, it’s for every man.
N.B This is the last known picture of me drunk: