Family Lifestyle

My Secret? Delayed Gratification!

Year 4 English

One of my earliest memories of School was Year 4 with our teacher Miss Charnley, we had to do the traditional creative writing assignments, write a Start, Middle, and End of a story.

Something I always struggled with.

The feedback I got from the piece of work was that I had no imagination. Aged 9 getting told by a teacher than you have no imagination, that’s the type of thing that might stick with you for your whole life and end up being the introduction to a blog post one day.

Anyway, this feedback was taken on board and I actively began to distance myself from creative work – Art, DT, Music, and Writing all became subjects I actively avoided, because I didn’t think I was good enough to do it.

It is quite striking that one statement can have such a subconscious impact on your life, it is only in hindsight that I truly understand why I didn’t want to tackle these subjects – my self-esteem was damaged as a young child and to this day is still recovering.

Like everyone, as I grew up I accumulated more and more weakness. I put on a lot of weight, struggled through school and started going out drinking. These weaknesses have a much greater impact than your inability to write a Start, Middle or End of a year 4 story. They impact your health, livelihood and mood.

As we get older suddenly ordering a full Dominos Pizza and eating begins to sound like a good Friday Night. 10 shots of Jager, why not! Oh, I’ll just stay in bed and not do anything productive today.

The question I always asked myself was – Why Am I Making These Choices?

It wasn’t until I read The Chimp Paradox, I began to understand my actions.

The Chimp Paradox

 

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The Chimp Paradox is an incredibly powerful mind management model that can help you become a happy, confident, healthier and more successful person. Prof Steve Peters explains the struggle that takes place within your mind and then shows how to apply this understanding to every area of your life so you can:

– Recognise how your mind is working
– Understand and manage your emotions and thoughts
– Manage yourself and become the person you would like to be

The Chimp Mind Management Model is based on scientific facts and principles, which have been simplified into a workable model for easy use. It will help you to develop yourself and give you the skills, for example, to remove anxiety, have confidence and choose your emotions. The book will do this by giving you an understanding of the way in which your mind works and how you can manage it. It will also help you to identify what is holding you back or preventing you from having a happier and more successful life.

The book has been widely used in Sports – Liverpool FC, British Cycling, and Ronnie O’Sullivan have all recruited Prof Steve Peters to consult them before major competitions.

The key finding for me was the idea of Delayed Gratification.

Delayed Gratification

Definition, Delayed Gratification: is the ability to resist the temptation for an immediate reward and wait for a later reward. Generally, delayed gratification is associated with resisting a smaller but more immediate reward in order to receive a larger or more enduring reward later.

Delayed Gratification is my secret, it’s the reason I can go out on a night out enjoy myself and not need a drink. The idea of coming home for Christmas and celebrating with friends by drinking shots and beers is a very short-term mindset. It doesn’t take into account how that will make you feel in the long term.

To be able to have Delayed Gratification you need to have a long-term goal or objective that you are trying to achieve – therefore when short-term temptations pop up (Which they always do) you have the foundations built to able to reject this temptation for the long-term ambitions.

For example – if you are wanting to run a Marathon, you’re spending the majority of your time training and focusing on being able to complete this tasks – you are much more likely to resist Pizza, Cheesy Chips and Gravy.

I’m in the process of writing my goals for 2018. All of these goals are my foundations for the way I live my life. They are the reasons I’m able not to drink on nights out, they are the reason I wake up every morning and have the motivation to go to the gym. I have a vision for the person I want to be in 5 years time and I’m focused on becoming him.

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My Last Blog: What Being Sober For 18 Months Teaches You.

More About Me: About Dom

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